👉🏼 BLAMING VS OWNERSHIP 👊🏼
What you resist in others is what you have in yourself that you haven’t accepted yet.
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Judgement shows you where you need to grow or where you need to have more compassion for yourself more.
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Similar to judgement, blaming other people is a distraction from feeling and going through your own pain. It’s so much easier to blame someone for your pain.
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It’s so much easier to create drama rather than owning your pain. It’s so much easier to get angry at your parents rather than feeling your wound of feeling not good enough or unloved. It’s so much easier to blame your partner for making you feel sad by breaking up with you rather than feeling your own wound of abandonment.
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Whenever you get an emotional trigger towards someone, hurt, anger, frustration; it often comes down to a memory you had when you were a child. It’s usually not about that person. Nearly nothing is personal. You might feel your partner is causing you pain, they’re not. They’re triggering an unresolved pain from your past.
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So how do you create a life free of drama?
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By taking ownership of your life. You are creating everything in your life. Things don’t just happen to you randomly. Everything happening in your life shows you what is already going amazing and also what needs to change.
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Up until 2 years ago, I used to have so much drama in my life and I thought things were just happening and I felt powerless against it all. With ownership of all of my reality, constant self-reflecting and having few people around me with great awareness and intuition reflecting back to me the choices I make, I can say that, I’m grateful to live a life with honesty, openness and integrity. Of course I have setbacks but I bounce back from it in a day rather than lingering in my Ego for a week. This is my biggest achievement to date, to live my life this way 🌟
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And this shift doesn’t have to be hard. Inner work doesn’t have to be serious. Healing doesn’t have to happen in suffering. It takes a moment, a second, a choice to shift.
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Here are some examples of turning BLAMING into OWNING:
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BLAMING 👉🏼 You’re getting angry at your partner for not making you feel loved and cared for
OWNING 👉🏼 You might feel this deep down without your partner anyway and you’re not letting them know what makes you feel loved expecting them to know magically.
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BLAMING 👉🏼 You’re getting annoyed at a woman in the bus for talking super loud on the phone
OWNING 👉🏼 You might have a family member that was super loud so you decided to keep yourself very quiet and small.
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BLAMING 👉🏼 You feel pretty crap this morning and the weather is shit.
OWNING 👉🏼 You haven’t created space for yourself last night to unwind and relax, you went to bed straight from being your phone so you didn’t get a good night’s sleep.
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Here’s how you can shift from blaming to owning when you’re triggered:
- Close your eyes, take a deep breath.
- Ask yourself, “What am I thinking?” and “What am I feeling?”. Your thoughts and feelings are gateways to your Ego. Feel free to blame others here, go for it.
- Sit with that feeling, notice how it feels.
- Ask “What is this showing me about myself?” & “What is this teaching me?”
- Take another deep breath.
- See a golden ball of light above your head descending onto your body, touching your head. As it does, your whole body lights up and you’re free of the past and the future. You’re empty, here and now. And you let go of the need to know ✨
- Ask “What is in the highest to do?”
- Follow through on that.
- Give yourself a hug, because why not ❤️
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This works with any kind of relationships, intimate, family, friends, collegue etc. If you want to have a conversation about it with the person, ask if they’d be open to talk about it. Then start with, “I’m feeling... when you .....”. This way you are owning how you’re feeling rather than blaming the other person.
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When you master this shift from blaming to owning, I PROMISE YOU, all the drama in your life will start to fall away. You’ll notice the difference when your life start to become effortless, simple where you know what your truth is as you own what is yours and what isn’t ❤️
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I do 1-1 transformational coaching sessions around owning your life, making choices that are in the highest and create a drama-free life full of flow and joy. Message me if you’re interested ❤️
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Have a gorgeous Saturday! 😍
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I love you 💛
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