🌙 WE ARE OUR MOTHERS & WE DATE OUR FATHERS ☀️
Few weeks ago, my friend Lauren Love came over and we dived deep into a deep conversation about relationships ❤️ This post came out of our conversation 🤗
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We all have feminine and masculine energies in us whether we’re in a female or male body.
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In a nutshell, feminine essence is about love, creativity, connection, flow, receptivity and surrender. Masculine essence is about presence, drive, focus, action, giving. They are so much more than this though and people are much more complex than this.
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When I mention those energies in the post, I’m referring to the feminine and masculine essence of both in women, men or however you identify yourself.
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If we are unconscious, we go into relationships to resolve our unmet needs from childhood through using the behaviours we learnt unconsciously from our parents. We are often attracted to the character traits similar to the parent whose love we wanted the most and didn’t receive.
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This often ends up in a disaster 😂
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When your partner or someone you’re in connection with is triggering you, it’s nearly never about them. It’s something your mum or dad used to do that created a similar emotional response in you in the past. So when this happens, all the emotions you couldn’t express in your childhood gets directed at this person.
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Here are some examples of unconscious patterns and reasons for why they mighy happen. They can apply to both essence, vice versa:
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Examples for the feminine:
- Wanting to mold the masculine into your ideal partner. Even when you mold them, it doesn’t work. The attraction goes away because that wasn’t who you were attracted to in the first place.
- Choosing emotionally unavailable and not present masculine. Getting little bit of love to keep you going. Unconsciously, if you get them to love you, your dad who wasn’t emotionally present, loves you too.
- Choosing to be with mentally or physically ill masculine coming from the need to save the masculine. If you save them, then you also save your dad.
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Examples for the masculine:
- Not speaking truth and pleasing the feminine, coming from fear of abandonment
- Feeling not good enough and unappreciated no matter what you do so why bother, disconnection from emotions. Chasing the feeling of appreciation in other feminine.
- Fluctuating between “I’m free” & “I’m not free”, as soon as it goes deeper disconnecting going aloof to protect your freedom.
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So how do you change this?
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✨ You comfort and love the little girl/boy in you.
✨ You see the situation from a higher perspective that you weren’t able to see at the time.
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Next time you notice you’re repeating your past or doing exactly what happened between your mum and dad, follow these steps:
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- Close your eyes.
- Take 4 deep breaths in.
- Ask your inner child to show a moment when you experienced this as a little boy/girl
- Talk to them and tell them, “It’s ok. I’ve got you now. I’m here for you now and I always will be here. I love you.”
- Ask if they need to hear anything from you. Tell them that. Comfort and love them.
- Now imagine yourself lifting off, almost rising above seeing the scene from a bird’s eye view. See a golden ball of light above your head representing your greatness, higher self descending onto you as you connect with it.
- Ask yourself, “What’s really going on looking at it from this higher perspective?”
- Ask yourself, “What would I love?” or “What would my higher self do?”
- Follow that 🙂
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Awareness is the first step. If you’re not aware of what you’re doing, you can’t do anything about it. Same scenarios will keep happening to you with different people.
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This is also not a one off thing where you do it and you’re healed forever 😂 As you do it, you feel freer and freer and more connected to your true essence.
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Moment by moment, ask yourself, “Am I repeating my past, or am I making an empowered choice from the truth?” Doing the exact opposite of what your parents did could still be coming from your Ego. The root cause is still the same thing, you’re just using different strategies.
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The examples that were set for you and your past is not your fate. You are your fate. You decide what kind of relationship you want to create ✨
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We also inherit beautiful qualities from our parents or caregivers. This post was focused more on unconscious patterns. They did their best whilst carrying their own wounds from the past with a wounded inner child. Also even if they did everything amazing, you still have an Ego and you still perceive things from your perspective 🙂
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Focus on becoming a version of you that is connected to your highest truth. The rest will be taken care of 🙏🏼
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If you made it reading this far, thank you for reading 🙏🏼
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Feel free to share this if you resonated. Would love to hear your comments or questions below ❤️
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I love you 💛
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