💚 COMMITMENT TO LOVE 💚
This post is dedicated to me and Aaron Le Conte’s friendship ✨
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Over the last 1.5 years, we committed to turn our intimate relationship into deep friendship. When I reflect and look at my life our friendship is something I deeply cherish and honour. So I’d love to tell you more about it as I think it’s pretty rare the journey we went on.
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In summary, Aaron and I met three years ago. We went super deep and fast into our relationship. Our first date turned into 3 days where we told each other “I love you”. Fast forward one year, every moment we were triggered by each other, we held space for each other to do a healing around it. This was very intense and to be honest not sustainable in the long run 😃
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As we decided to end our intimacy, we wanted to be friends forever for real. So we decided to hold each other through our seperation, to open our hearts even more rather than shutting down.
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This wasn’t a walk in the park. I can honestly say this breakup was the hardest thing I had to go through as it brought up so many wounds to the surface while my dad passed away as well. During this time parts of me literally died.
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I want to celebrate the qualities of this man that have deeply transformed my life:
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✨ His unconditional love. He loves me as I am and to this day carries on to do so. He showed me what unconditional love can feel and look like in a relationship and how it doesn’t have to go away after breakups. He showed me how when you love someone as they are unconditionally, they blossom and become more of who they truly are.
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✨ His support. From day 1, he encouraged me to step into my power, start and build my business. When I wanted to stop, he helped me to carry on. He still helps me with my business. He edits my meditations, gives me business strategy sessions, assists me with the breathwork journeys when he’s around. He still did, even when we were going through a tough time together. He was able to put our process aside and serve.
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✨ His commitment to his growth. He doesn’t share as much on social media but I know that he sits down every day, goes within into his darkness with his processes, feels uncomfortable emotions and always finds a way to get to the other side of it. It’s very inspiring to witness.
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✨ His love for his loved ones. He would do anything for his family and friends, he feels geniune joy out of helping them unconditionally with pure love and no agenda.
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✨ His silliness. Behind all the peace, love and the hugs he gives out, there’s a silly boy with a dark humour.
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He taught me how to connect with my heart and my body. He taught me how to let go of the idea of what something should look like and be open to what it might become. And he taught me the beauty of spending hours together as quality time.
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He showed me how love can be supporting your ex partner to be ready to attract their future partner.
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Here are few things we did that enabled us to transition and to be great friends today:
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❤️ Being vulnerable and open with each other ❤️
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If there’s even a slight little thing that feels off or triggering, we share it IN THE MOMENT in how we make each other feel. Of course we had moments where we manipulated each other but we called each other out and came back to honesty.
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❤️ Telling each other what we need ❤️
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At some point during our breakup, we asked each other exactly what we needed to hear looking into each other’s eyes. It went something like this: “Us breaking up doesn’t mean neither of us is not good enough or worthy of love, it means we’re not right for each other.”
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❤️ Having time apart with periods of no communication ❤️
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Some time apart helped in letting go of the relationship and remembering who we are without the relationship. We had few weeks where we didn’t speak, but always reconnected and checked in how we were both doing.
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❤️ Trusting the truth of we’re not right for each other ❤️
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This was a hard one to accept because there is so much love between us. It also showed us how if we’re letting go of this which was true, something even more aligned is coming. We also connected with our future partners’ energy and described it for each other which helped with letting each other go. If you’re not focusing on the future, you can’t let the past go.
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❤️ Not leaving a conversation without resolving ❤️
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We would argue, talk, eventually be vulnerable and open until we come to a resolution. At times, this was happened to be inconvenient places like 2am at night or tube stations. We left things unresolved few times and it got worse, there was more to resolve afterwards. Better sooner then later. Best way I feel to end a conflict is to catch yourself when you’re in your Ego, admit out loud you’re in your Ego. Then you hold each other and come back to love together.
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❤️ Choosing friendship first ❤️
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We wanted to be friends first. When we decided to break up, we got matching triangle tattoos on our ankles to commit to our friendship. We promised to treat each other how friends would treat each other during this seperation, with respect, love and decency.
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This is what worked for us. I know its not for everyone. Some relationships are those where you just need to leave and not look back. And some have a potential to turn into beautiful friendships. If this is something you want to create and both sides want it, it is possible with honesty, vulnerability and direct communication.
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I believe true love between two people never goes away. It doesn’t have to just because there was a breakup. It can transform into a form of love that is even deeper. Aaron is like a brother and a super close friend to me now. I cried many times while I wrote this post feeling the love, appreciation and gratitude I have for him.
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This photo was taken back in April after a breathwork journey eating at Pizza Express which is a ritual we do to celebrate. Aaron was away for 3 months and I’m super excited that he’s in London for a week now 😍
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There is no set in stone way of going about in relationships. You decide how you want to start, create and end a relationship. Be honest with yourself. What is your truth? Have an open, honest conversation about it and follow that.
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I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions below ✨
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I love you 💛